Yes, it's come to this. The same people you raked on in high school now run the world and control every gizmo you own or want to own. And, as you hold your "normal" identity throughout your life, there are times when it may be advantageous to pose as a geek. Maybe to convince your first date that you have job prospects beyond "Walmart clerk". Maybe to slip in the door at Comdex. Perhaps even to escape being hacked to death by the evil-looking punks at the Internet cafe, the ones with the Tux penguin tattoos and the Mohawks who are eying your laptop. Hint: They don't like you because of the suit and tie; they HATE that!
Well, fear not, hopeless lamer, I, a certified geek, will give you a rundown of how to pass as a geek for brief moments. Understand, these tactics will in no way work over the long term, like, say, a marriage. But in quick social exchanges, or to bamboozle your cow-orker, these tricks should work sufficiently to help you fool the rest of us into thinking that you're one of us:
One of the chief attributes of geeks, and intellectuals in general, is attitude. No, attitude doesn't MAKE you a geek, but that's not the point of this article. The point here is to FAKE it. And to fake it, you have to feign interests and opinions, and then be smugly confident that your "choices" are superior to the mainstream's.
Scott Adams, creator of the "Dilbert" comic strip, has a chapter in one of his books about enhancing your aura at work by posing as a "prima-donna", which is very similar in tactics to this article. Here again, it's all about the pretended-to attitude.
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